Saturday randoms

I had a dream last night about my ex. Most specifically, that my child was his, that we had split up and he hadn't seen his child in six months, and for some (obviously completely insane) reason I took my child to his house to peer in the windows. He was married to the woman he cheated on me with, and I was angry at him -- angry at him for cheating, angry at him for marrying her, angry at him for not seeing our son for six months.

It's been seven years, and it seems somewhere inside I still am angry about this. I wonder when it's going to go away? It's not like I think about him very much, it's not like I talk about him or even feel consciously angry any more. But somehow my subconscious thinks so, anyway.

In his defense, in my dream, he was really excited about seeing his child. I suppose perhaps my subconscious is trying to tell me he had at least one redeeming quality.

*******

My son woke up this morning with a cough. A chesty cough, the kind where you can hear the congestion. "oh, kiddo!" I said. "That doesn't sound pleasant. Are you feeling sick?"

"Yes." he replies. "I have yogurt coughs."

"???", replies mother.

"Yogurt coughs mean you are REALLY sick." he explains, coughing again.

"Well, then you will have to stay in bed ALL DAY, because that's what REALLY sick people do." I say.

He coughs again, more gently. "See? that's a regular cough." he says. "I can get up." It quickly dissolves into hacking again.

"I'm glad you're feeling better," I reply.

********

The day is grey and cloudy and promises to get better. This afternoon we are invited to a birthday party at a water park. I am sure the parents felt confident that the weather would be nice enough, and who could blame them? It's August, for pete's sake.

********

I am tired. SOOOOO tired. Oh, GOD, so tired. Think I might go back to bed.