Parenting I did right

I talk a lot about bad things about being a parent and mistakes I've made, so let's change the channel for a bit, shall we?

This morning we were at a playdate with a little boy, let's call him A. A is The Boy's bestest friend at daycare, they LOOOOOOVE each other. A has a little sister, so I went and hung out with their mom and little sister with The Girl for a while. We went to the park, and as we had the girls on the swings, the other mom asked me what was going on with Z, another little boy.

Z has been "friends" with The Boy for a couple years. Z is ... kind of a strange kid. He's boisterous and enthusiastic and a generally nice person, of course, but as a toddler he had numerous food allergies which made him rashy and drooly and he was generally very hard to understand and play with. So he was a bit marginalized.

He and The Boy and A are all the same age, though, and given the dearth of small boys in this particular daycare, the three of them spend a lot of time together. But he's not as fast or as sophisticated or as verbal, and he's often really rough with his play, so they have a love / hate relationship with him.

What she meant by her question is that The Boy and A and Z have been getting along Bee-YOU-tifully lately, and she wondered why. I suspect that it's a lot to do with age -- the boys are just getting to an age where they negotiate and chat better, Z included, so things are just easier.

But about a month ago, I got to daycare and overheard A and The Boy declaring to each other that Z was NOT their friend, and that they didn't like him. Z was nearby.

On the way home I asked The Boy about it, and asked him if he thought Z would like hearing that, and how HE would feel if someone said that about him. And after appropriate responses, I said "You know, you don't have to like him. You don't have to be friends with him. But you can't be mean to him, and talk nastily about him. That's not nice."

The next day, I dropped The Boy off and another little boy started a conversation with The Boy about Z (yes, while Z was RIGHT THERE. Kids. Not subtle.), and how he didn't like him. I looked at The Boy, and he looked at me, and he said "I don't want to talk about it." And then he started talking about what they were going to do.

And I told him quietly before I left that that was a good thing to say.

Better than agreeing, anyway.

I told the other mom that I didn't know what had happened, but I related this to her. As I said -- I don't think it was this conversation that fixed things. I know they were working on things at the daycare too. But I'd like to think that my conversation, and my kid, who is looked up to by some of the other younger kids, had a hand in it.

So ... Yay me.

:)