The hell?

I was at our work holiday function this afternoon -- these are a group of people I don't see often, because our "office" as a whole is about 50-60 people, but I only see about 10 of them regularly. So many don't know I'm expecting, because I don't randomly visit other people's offices just to tell them my breeding news, strangely enough. Over the course of the party I talked with a lot of people who were either a.) carefully making sure they were making eye contact and NOT MENTIONING THE BELLY or b.) making some carefully guarded hints, and interesting conversation that would lead me to say something. You know, like, "So, what's NEW with YOU??" while eyeballing my stomach. Because, and I have to say it myself, the belly, she ain't subtle. You don't gain weight in a basketball on your stomach and no where else. (luckily, so far.)

But by far, the weirdest comment? Especially as a conversation opener? "Hey, are you sitting on a nest?"

Because ... what?? I actually almost looked behind me to see what I *was* sitting on, to see if I had inadvertently sat on something strange. It took me several minutes to parse together what she meant. And ... nest? I mean, I know they refer to parts of pregnancy as "nesting" but ... still! I am not a bird! I do not lay eggs! If I did, this whole process might be easier! And what's with the animal references? Do people not have babies?? This is definitely the strangest thing anyone has said to me since I was told that I was a "good cow" when The Boy was a newborn and gaining weight well while I was breastfeeding. Because hello! MAMMALS make milk. Just because I do too doesn't make me BOVINE.

One family member fewer

We had to put the sick cat to sleep today.

I kind of can't believe it came so fast, and suspect it won't really sink in until later tonight, when I sit down after bed time and she doesn't immediately jump up on the couch to cuddle between The Man and I.

She was a good kitty. We'll miss her.

Duly noted

My son, this afternoon:

"Never go to the swimming pool in Superior Court."

Do I even need to add that this was something completely out of the blue, completely random, with explanation or context neither before or after? I guess it's good he's thinking away but DAMN, there must be some pretty bizarre things going on in that little head.

I think we're addicted

After last weekend's chimney cleaning we had a few fires -- one each weekend day and then a couple during the week. We waited until a respectable 3pm yesterday to light up, but this morning at 8am The Boy insisted we start it up, and frankly neither The Man nor I wanted to say no. So we didn't.

And frankly it makes sense if you think about it -- the house is cold at this hour, and so is the weather, and a fire is the perfect antidote.

....

Nah, we're just addicted. I know.

* * * * *

In other news, we felt the baby kick on the outside this morning. I've been feeling a little something here and there for a few weeks, and having the usual freak outs when there was action for days and then nothing for days (I can worry about ANYTHING!) But this morning I lay in bed and felt some movement and put my hand down and felt a soft thump. I called in The Man who was kindly making breakfast and HE got to feel a little twitch too which was cool, for so early on. We are having our ultrasound this coming Thursday and I'm looking forward to seeing if we can find out who this little person is ...

Other things I'm thinking about ...

Should I get a doula for the birth?

We didn't get one last time. I had The Man, and we invited one of our close friends, who came and helped out. It was nice, even if she was horribly traumatized by it for weeks afterwards.

However, she is also one of the few people who live close enough to take care of our older child during the labour, one of the few I'd trust to have come to our home and watch our child for the day or night or whatever. And frankly -- this is how much things have changed -- I'd rather HE be comfortable than *I* be comfortable. With mommy and daddy away doing God Knows What, I'd rather he be in the company of his familiar aunt in his own home and his own bed.

But while it's possible that this birth will beat time records for quickness (the last one should have been only four hours or so; my mom had me, her second, in three -- no kidding, from contraction to baby out of body.) I definitely am not counting on that, and think that The Man could probably use a back up, especially if it does on for a while. The midwife will be there most of the time, of course, but they really are medical professionals, not birth coaches. Oh, sure, she'll coach and all, but her main concern is the medical overseeing of my birth, not The Man's emotional well being. It might be nice to have someone there to see that he eats and gets a break and I have emotional support while he does that.

But at the same time -- how the hell do I find one? Because I should soon, and it'll need to be someone that I like a lot in order to be comfortable with her while I'm in labour. And I'm nervous about picking someone from the internet; I don't really want to interview a ton of people; I don't know anyone who had one from around here who I could ask for a recommendation.

I've found myself perusing a few sites of local doulas and they all seem so chirpy and outgoing which is lovely and all but not exactly what I want for someone around my while I'm birthing. I need someone who is also an introvert and would understand that what I might really need is just to have someone around who is silent.

I suppose websites advertising services are not the best way to judge people. You can hardly expect they'd get customers if they were all dour.

Anyway. I suppose I will likely ask the midwife when I see her in a short while and see what she has to say. I mean, it would be nice to get someone that the midwife likes so that they get along during the crazy time.

Must go an negotiate with two small boys.

Solitaire

I downloaded a solitaire game for my iPhone. I remember back to the early days of my marriage, when we were in grad school and had no money -- solitaire was the only computer game we had, and there was no TV, and we'd each play it for ages. It was the mindless time sink that you kind of need to decompress. The ex would play every game; I would pick and choose and play only the games that I thought looked winnable.

I still do this.

We had an argument about it once. Maybe more of a discussion. "What are you teaching our children?" he exclaimed. "To only play if you can win? I play all games no matter what. It's always good to try."

"No," I retorted. "I'm teaching them to choose their battles. I'm teaching them it's ok to give up if they don't want to try."

Now, with the benefit of ten years and a kid behind me, I smile and think to myself -- what I would actually want to teach my child is that it's just a freaking game. It exists entirely to amuse you, and however you are amused with the game is the right way to play it. It has no more relevance to how you live life than ... I don't know, how you use a fork.

Honestly. The things you take seriously at 25.

Or, perhaps, the things I took seriously in that marriage, and an illustration of why the hell I'm better off out of it.

Wha ... ??

Seriously? December?? How? What? Who?

???!!!

That's pretty much all I have to say, to be honest.

I've been enjoying the week -- after November what was constant deluge, this entire week has been sunny and beautiful, albeit COLD. And by COLD I mean it only gets up to about 5 each day, and actually freezes at night, which is of course as cold as I think weather should EVER GET. My iPhone is set up to show me weather from various places across the globe, and over the next few days in Alberta it looks like the HIGH will be about -15, with lows of close to -30, which is just plain insanity. It makes me wonder how our forefathers coped. I mean, arriving from nice temperate (by comparison) England and northern Europe, coming in the nice warm summer and then -- Good LORD! -- coming through a winter where most of the people starved and the temperatures reached lows they'd never even considered possible. I'm really very surprised they didn't just jump back on the boats never to return.

My grandparents did this very thing -- not the high tailing and running part -- but did immigrate to Canada from England in the 1950s, from southern England to WINNIPEG of all places. Winnipeg that was so cold that the sound board in their piano split clean in two and ruined the damn thing. I imagine that the cold was quite a shock to the system, given they were used to dressing their three little boys in cute little shorts. And if they'd done that in Winnipeg winter their knees would have frozen clean off.

Not entirely sure I'm going anywhere with this.

Anyway. Suffice to say -- it's been a long week (hence no posting) but at least the sun has been shining. And there's more sun to come, which will really be nice. Now I'm just looking forward to a weekend of fireplace fires and not much else. I hope.