No. We haven't gotten married. But the concept of marriage had hit the daycare and the kids were excited! And needed to know more! So the teachers told us they'd do a unit on it! And I was all "hey hey! That's great! But ... uh ... we're NOT married so mind you keep your language inclusive, ok?" And they did!
And my son still told them he thinks it "isn't right" that his parents aren't married.
I heard that. I cringed.
So we came home. I made dinner, and over mac and cheese I asked. "I heard you were talking about marriage at daycare. How's that going?"
He shrugs.
"I heard you said that you think your mom and dad should be married. Why is that?"
"it's better."
So the conversation goes on, and I try to explain they the reason we're not married is that we feel it wouldn't make any difference to our lives. "how do you think your life would change if mom and dad got married?" I ask.
"it would make sense." he says softly, and my heart breaks.
*******
A moment later, after some distraction of eating and feeding and babies, and a few words here and there, he says "you get cake at weddings."
Yes, I say. But I'm not getting married just for cake, I say. I can eat cake any time, I say.
His eyes fill with tears. "but if you don't get married," he weeps. "I won't get any cake!!"
I assure him that I will make cake this weekend.
And all is fine with the world once more.
1 comment:
Oh, oh.
We went, when SP was perhaps three or four, to the wedding of some friends who were getting married after a dozen or so years of cohabiting, two cats, a house, and two kids. And SP told us for at least a year afterwards that she wished we hadn't got married before she was born, because she wanted to come to our wedding. Because cake! And dancing!! And a fancy flower-girl dress!!!
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