Conversations we actually have

"We have beautiful children."

"I know. They sprang from my loins."

"Fully formed!"

"Unlike how they sprang from YOUR loins."

"Yeah, they were just an idea."

"That they had to pitch to the egg. You know, like a salesman. 'Hey HEY! I've got a nice brown eyed boy here, brown hair, nice tanning skin, pretty smart too. And, let me tell you, WAY better than that blond kid that guy over there is selling.'"

"And the egg is all, 'well, they did say they wanted a smart kid, so ... sure ...'"

"And then the next time, she was all 'No, I have specific orders for a GIRL baby this time, so NO'"

"And there was a sudden cry out from all the male sperm."

"They had protests. 'Male sperm unfairly denied!"

"That's probably why it took so long."

"Yeah. There were little blockades in my uterus. 'HELL NO, WE WON'T GO!!'"

"Until the sexy little redhead came by. 'Hey boys, just let me through, ok?' wink wink"

"And that's how we ended up with a girl who is the most feminine child on the planet."

"Watch out boys!"