Over emoting

July has been quite a month. Over at Chez Genie we've had some intense discussions around Our Future and What To Do and Where Shall We Go and What Will We Be Doing in Ten Years, due to some job crises and new possibilities, which has been exhausting even though the end result is actually NO CHANGE WHATSOEVER. Which is kind of amusing in and of itself.

If that weren't enough there was a lot of emotional storm going on. The Boy had some meltdowns. The Girl decided she didn't like daycare again, and needed BAYBEE all the time. She hasn't been sleeping as well due to molars, and the weather has been lousy.

One of my personality traits is that I tend to internalize emotion. My own, certainly, but others as well. Two blog posts of people I don't even know had such bad news it knocked the breath out of me and caused me to lose sleep; that's not even counting the two people I know IN REAL LIFE who are facing some of their own worst days. It's NOT my life, it's not even my emotion, but I seem to take it on and live it even so. I tell myself that it's what makes me a decent writer, this ability to slip into someone else's shoes and feelings, but the truth is that some days its just darned inconvenient; I have enough to deal with in my own life without taking on someone else's pain. They didn't ask me to, it doesn't help anyone, and just leaves me reeling in emotional fall out.

Several times this week I've sat in my office or home with a feeling of doom and gloom, a tightening in my stomach and a sick sense of dread, only to try to think about why I'm feeling that way and wondering what's wrong, and then having to repeat to myself "IT'S NOT MY LIFE. IT'S NOT MY LIFE."

This weekend I aim to spend screen free, with a good book, loving on my children and getting lots of hugs and love in return. And I hope that there's peace at the end of it.