Saga, continued

So when we last left our heroes ...

No, wait. That's not right.

So my daughter seemed ok Wednesday and I plied her with juice and fruit and oatmeal and sat back to wait. By Thursday night it was clear things were not over, and Friday morning, armed with visions of disaster in my head from late-night googling, I was Very Concerned. And likewise, The Girl was Rather Unhappy. Intermittently, thankfully. But still. I'm all done waiting.

I called the doctor's office. She's not in Fridays. I try her cell. No answer. I call the pediatrician. Not in Fridays. I leave a message. Finally I call the local clinic, only to find that the man we call Dr Useless is attending today; Dr Decent will be in tomorrow.

I sit back and wait, because I'm sure my doctor will return my call, and if not the clinic doctor Saturday is fine.

An hour or so later, the pediatrician calls and I explain the situation, and she is all for calling in a mild prescription, so I'm down with it, tell her which pharmacy, and give them a bit to fill it.

Annnnnd in the meantime: we have success!

Not enough, I think, but my intuition says it's a good start and she'll now be ok. Still. Let's go get the prescription anyway, might as well have it on hand, right?

Sure!

So I go, take the kids, into the pharmacy, tell them her name and ... They presentment with THE BIGGEST BOTTLE OF LAXATIVE KNOWN TO MAN.

seriously, this thing was easily 750ml size full of powder. They look at me expectantly, I look at them expectantly, I'm thinking they're going to measure me out some but no. It dawns on me that they think I will be taking the whole bottle, while it finally dawns on THEM that the patient is not me, but the tiny 20 lb human I'm holding.

There is much consternation, as I try to communicate nicely that I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to be ok with taking home 500+ doses of laxative when I'm pretty sure seven will do it. I don't really care that it's mostly paid for by my insurance; I still don't want that much, and I'm pretty sure the doctor could not possibly have prescribed that much. She says helplessly that they USED to have a smaller bottle, but ...

She then remembers that they gave individual adult doses! Whee! Still. One adult dose is 17 baby doses, still too much, but better than 500, right? Well, sure, but they need me to buy the whole BOX of individual doses -- ten -- not just one. So 170 doses instead of 500.

And keep in mind at this point things seem to be moving along, so I'm not even sure ONE dose will be needed, and they are now telling me that I can have a six month supply! Or nothing!

And I start wondering when it was I went through the portal to CRAZYVILLE.

In the end? I left with nothing. And her promise that she'd keep me on file in case over the weekend things went downhill again.

But it's nice to know that if needed I can ensure regularity for the rest of 2011. For the whole family.

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