Parenting a three year old

My sister told me several weeks ago that "the person who coined the term "terrible twos" clearly never made it to three. Snippets of conversation from today:

The Boy has apple slices in his lunch. He doesn't want to eat them. He decides instead that taking his toy plastic screwdriver to them is a good idea.

Me: N, please don't do that with your food.

[chop] Apple flies everywhere.

Me: N, didn't I just say not to do that?

Note: this is NOT the first time I have said this today.

Me: N, didn't I just ask you ... never mind. You're three.

Him: Yes I am. That's why I do that. 

Earlier today, he asks for something ... candy? A treat? A toy? I can't even remember. I'm trying to make lunch, whatever it is on the kitchen counter requires supervision. I say no, after lunch, I'll get it for you later. He attempts to climb up and get it. I move it. He is put out, tries something else. I move it. Etc. 

Him: Mommy! I want that!

Me: I know.

Him: I want it! I don't have it!

Me: What you don't have is an ounce of self-control.

Him: No, I don't. But YOU do.

Me: Yes, yes, I do. That's why you're still alive.