The urge to write

I get this, from time to time, the urge to write. I don't even know what, I just know I want to sit down and create something. Alas this happens less often at work than I'd like. 

Ha ha.

But this was the reason I started a blog to begin with, lo several years and one typepad account later. I wanted to write something other than what I wrote all day, every day, at work. And for a time it worked. And then ... then I got pregnant, had a baby, went back to work, and got busy, and I just never updated anymore. 

And it got harder and harder to go back to the old space. It was like I had created an identity, and I didn't know if I was that person any more. And I couldn't keep writing there in that way, in that style, as that person. A lot had changed since I began that blog. 

I had, for instance, finished off a divorce. I had continued my career, and realized that I was, without a doubt, in the eighth year of doing so, a writer, a real writer without any need for a capital letter, since someone had been paying me to do this for eight years and I just couldn't deny it anymore. And I got pregnant, and had a baby, and my relationship evolved so that I stopped thinking about what I would do when it ended, given the last one, and began thinking about just being in the relationship.

And I became another person too. The last few months I've finally taken the time to look at myself, and decide that there are ways I can actively make my life better, and I want to do them now. I'm in a safe, secure place and I can actually make that decision, and move forward so that I can work on life and create the life I really want, and be the person I want to be. 

So here I am. A new space, for what is evolving to be a new me. 

I think I'm going to like it here.