Anyway.
So we have in the last six months entered the world of toddler television. Right now it's being used as a substitute for nursing after work -- part of the weaning process -- because apparently the long-slaving of one's mother and the fruits of her body, which is produced by depriving me of essential nutrients and energy, can easily be replaced by cartoon characters singing songs.
Ahem.
We don't have a television, so all our toddler programs come from DVD or borrowing, and we have found precious few programs that don't make us want to stab our ears with forks in order to stop the pain. Right now we have one -- just one -- that we are willing to play on any sort of regular basis. (Although I admit we're all fans of Pixar movies. However, there aren't that many that are really appropriate for two-year-olds. Plus they are a little long.)
While on holiday in Whistler in June we had not one but two televisions available to play Treehouse and PBS and all sorts of other channels for our child, and I was all a-quiver with anticipation that we would watch something new that we would all love.
I'll pause while you pick up your jaw from my naivety.
What we found was ...
Barney: OH MY GOD. Could it get any worse? Seriously? This was about the dumbest thing I HAVE EVER WATCHED. And it was on ALL THE TIME. The only saving grace is that my child wouldn't give it the time of day either, and didn't care when we TURNED IT OFF.
Dora (and similar ilk): Ok, this is a great program when I want to whip my child into a crazed frenzy through screaming at the television. Which is ... oh, never.
Blue's Clues: The Boy wasn't into this, and it made me want to scream in frustration ... COME ON! IT'S RIGHT THERE! Ok, I know this wasn't made for me, but I really am looking for programs which don't drive me batsh*t crazy.
Thomas the Tank Engine: I don't know about this, for some reason the voice over seemed ... just super annoying. Condescending, perhaps? Something about it made me want to run screaming.
Franklin: You know, Franklin is fine but it's the Three's Company of children's programs. Every single episode is some kind of situation that Franklin gets into a bind and then gets out of it. And usually there's some moral preachiness going on too. And you know? I don't mind it but I really am less interested in my kid watching moralizing programs. I feel in an old-fashioned way that *I* should be teaching him morals and values.
Little Bear: Just kinda dumb.
And then there was the Night Garden which was so psychotic I couldn't stand to have it on, some kind of show with a neurotic and annoying pig and an enormous monster with the body of an elephant and a HUGE HUMAN FACE which was really pretty freaky, and some nasty tales of bullies at school.
Are the offerings really as bad as I think??!
What I want for him are old episodes of Canadian Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, Mr. Dressup and the Friendly Giant.
Classic case of "my childhood was rosy and all the stuff the kids have these days is crap!"
God, I'm old.
Any thoughts?
5 comments:
I've seen some of those shows with my little cousins or the children of my friends and I have to agree with your assessment. Just UGH. I can't sit through a 15 second clip for a commercial for Dora without wanting to stab myself in the ears. Can you buy Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street on DVD? I just looked it up on Amazon and you can... though many of the sesame street dvds feature elmo, who I find annoying. But maybe you don't?
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=mister+rogers+dvd
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=sesame+street+dvd&x=7&y=18
Of the available offerings, we find the Backyardigans, older iterations of the Wiggles, and the Wonder Pets the least obnoxious. Oh, and George shrinks is kind of cute.
It's pretty bad, though. I think at The Boy's age SP was mostly restricted to reruns of the Muppet Show (which she called "Uppets! Uppets!") on that weird Christian channel that's full of reruns of bland 80s sitcoms.
And now that SP is no longer a toddler, I'm afraid it hasn't gotten better ... because now she wants to watch the shows on the stations with commercials.
I would actually rather not have a TV. But TV is to DH as chlorophyll to plants, in some weird and twisted way ... so that's not gonna happen.
p.s. It's Siskel who's dead.
I think.
Can I belatedly second the Backyardigans recommendation? We love that show -- I mean my husband and I love it, and we've brainwashed Eric into loving it too (well, it's almost the only thing we let him watch, so he loves it by default, I guess). The music's great, it's not preachy, and it's pretty funny. And I find that it brings up all sorts of things and ideas and experiences that Eric then finds interesting in the real world (I found myself explaining an anchor on a toy boat by referring to a Backyardigans song, for instance...). And there are lots of episodes available on dvd
If you do like it, let me know -- I'm hoping to find we're not the only adults who like it!
For my little guy, it is Caillou all the way. It is a Canadian program and what's more, *I* love it.
Give that a go.
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