Happy New Year

New years was rung in last night at 11pm, which was the hour that neither I nor The Man could stay awake past. Good thing too; last night at 5am, the heat went off in the bedroom and our little man woke up cold and unsettled, and we had an uneasy hour before we all fell back to sleep. We awoke at 8, somewhat muddle headed. 

My first thought this morning at 5 was this is not a good way to start the new year.

But awaking at 8, I had regained some equilibrium. I am very lucky to be awoken at 5am by my son. I am lucky to have a son. I am lucky that I share the burden of the 5am wakings with a kind and gentle husband, who gently soothes my son and me back to sleep. I am grateful that the two of them are now making use of one of the most favourite of the Christmas toys and making an enormous train track in our living room, in front of the fire. I am grateful for an enormous number of things; I am very lucky. And while I am tired, because my child still does not regularly sleep through the night, it does not change any of those things.

Last night's post was sour and sad, tired and worn. It sounds resigned. But I am far from it. It's still true that I don't have much control, that there will be good and bad things this coming year, but it's also true that I will always and forever try to make things happy and peaceful for myself, for my family, for those people I care about. I cannot control the events, but I can control how I react to them, how I let them shape me and my family's fortunes. 

And in the end that is my new year's resolution, and I think it will continue to be for the next many years: do the best I can with the hand I am dealt. Be a source of happiness and calm for myself and those around me. See the good. 

And with that in mind, it will be a good year, no matter what happens.