And all I could think of was that if I weren't pregnant this would be so much easier because being pregnant prevents me from picking up the little $*#($#@*$&b and just carting him off to do as I need him to. As I used to when he got this nasty. And a tiny part of me wishes I believed in spanking. Really, good, spanking.
At the end of the long evening, I finally lost my temper, told my child I was cancelling his birthday party, which made him cry, and burst into tears myself. I went and cried in the bedroom, and he snuck in very quietly, and climbed up on the bed, and told me tearfully that he just wanted to give me a hug. And I felt like saying no, (because I too was starting to act like a child) but I rolled over and hugged him. And then he covered me with our favourite blanket, and crawled in beside me, and we agreed we'd be more cooperative, both of us, tomorrow. And then he kissed me and kissed me and kissed me. At each one, my mouth quirked up a little, and after dozens of tiny kisses he told me he wished I would smile for REAL. So I asked for three more kisses, and then I'd smile. And so he did.
And we spent the next half an hour cuddled up together on the couch, just talking.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
2 comments:
People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.
For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the genitals and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can use the resources I've posted if they want to learn more.
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child buttock-battering (euphemistically labeled "spanking","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at www.nospank.net.
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
That's the hardest part, you know? Letting go of the urge to act like a child yourself. At least, it's the hardest part for me. There are times when forgiving feels like giving in, like admitting defeat. But then when you actually accept the hugs and kisses and let yourself smile, it feels soooooo good.
And humbling, because this small, inexperienced person seems so very much wiser than you...
Post a Comment