Mother guilt

Last night I was sitting on the couch almost ready to head off to the daycare parent meeting. I wasn't looking forward to going, but I was going to go -- it's important, I think, to maintain communication with the daycare. And my child came over and said ...

"Mommy, something's wrong."

He was gulping, like he had hiccups.

And my mother instinct said, "Dear God, he's going to throw up."

And my common sense said, "Say wha ... ???!!!"

And then there was barfing. Copious barfing. Mostly over me. Because the common sense overrode the mommy instinct, and there were no preventive measures taken.

Needless to say I didn't make it to the meeting.

I should note before anyone wonders, the kid is fine. He didn't eat dinner and he went to bed quickly (which is rare), but he woke up this morning like nothing had happened and went to daycare all day. It was almost like he didn't notice.

But here's the weird part: I feel guilty. Guilty because my first reaction to someone heaving all over me was to push him away. Which I did. And logically? This is not a crazy reaction. Were it anyone else throwing up on me, I sure as hell would push them away, or at least remove myself from the vicinity. But it was my child, my baby, and for some totally insane reason I now feel guilty that I pushed him away.

Which is ridiculous. But I figure it must be part and parcel of the mother package. Insanity.