Thinking

I was awake for a goodly portion of last night -- feeding, burping, general soothing of first one and then the other child. It's sad to realize I spent 11 hours in the bedroom and was only asleep for about half of those.

As I lay awake at one point I started thinking about the post-partum experience, and some of its various unpleasantnessess, and realized that I have some reasonable blog fodder -- some of it amusing, even -- if I wasn't too squeamish to blab to the wider internet about my bodily functions. I know some women do it, but I just don't think I can.

You're welcome.

But the fact is that despite the fact that this is my second child, there were things that surprised me about this post-partum experience -- some which were new (and normal) and some which I just didn't remember. And it occurs to me that this is frankly because we as a society don't talk about these things much. I mean, years ago, when families were closer and there were more of them, you might have watched a mother or sister or aunt go through pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and the post-partum experience, and you might not find these things were new when you happened to have your own child. Now we never talk about it -- I've only rarely discussed birthing with my mother, and only in the most general terms, never once touching on such subjects as lochia or something else that's intimate and kind of gross (come to think of it, I never once discussed menstruation with my mother either ... perhaps I'm just an anomaly, then ... )

I think it would be better if we were more open about these things. I mean, between mother and daughter / sister / aunt / close female relation or friend. I mean, it's nice to know what to expect, what's normal, and what you can do about these things. It's hard when you've never experienced them, and you end up calling your midwife every single day to ask anxiously about something that is in fact totally normal but you've never experienced before. She's patient and kind, I admit, and doesn't make me feel dumb, but given that women's bodies are supposed to do this kind of thing, wouldn't it be better if we just had a better personal operating manual? That we knew these things about our own bodies?

I will try, then, to give my daughter a better idea about her own body as she gets older. At the very least to be the first one to tell her that she'll get her period at some point, and not let the public health nurse do it.

Sheesh.