At this appointment they also palpated me and checked the position of the baby, which was more uncomfortable than I remember from last time. Good baby is head down, back to the left side (which I knew, from the amount of abuse my right side / right ribs have been getting. There must be feet and hands over there!) Of course at 30 weeks the kid can flip right back over again before delivery, but I guess it's a good sign. However, the abuse that my bladder took at both the palpating and my kid not being pleased with same was not pleasant.
Anyway ... not much new. Thirty weeks. My back hurts, sitting hurts, and I'm feeling unpleasantly breathless whenever I lie down, but I'm watching my sugar intake and taking iron supplements and I'm feeling pretty good -- in many ways better than earlier on in this pregnancy. I anticipate this feeling will last another few weeks, five at most, before I start feeling like a whale and this whole thing starts being a lot less fun.
The other morning while lying in bed, The Boy leaned down and touched my belly. "Hi Bumblebee, it's your big brother, [name]. I hope you come out soon!" he whispered, and there lay mommy in a pool of melted goo. I really do need to get on this whole sibling preparation thing -- making sure he understands that mommy will be in the hospital for a night or two, that he'll be home with daddy or his auntie, that the baby won't immediately be able to play with him and that the baby for the first while will cry and poop and sleep and eat and not much else, and the same goes for mommy. I don't know how to do all this, and even if I do, whether it will get through to him. But I guess all I can do is try.
I worry a lot. He and I have a really good, wonderful, close bond. I love that, and I worry a lot about it being damaged and changed when the baby comes. I wonder if I will regret having the baby if my relationship with The Boy is changed too much. I value so much what we have, our closeness, and while I know it will change in time I'd hate to feel like I forced it; that it was my fault.
But I guess I just need to accept that the change is inevitable, that it will come regardless of a sibling or not, and that if I put in the effort, that things will be ok. It's times like this that I am actually kind of glad that we have had four years between them -- I may worry about our relationship, but we've had a good four years of solid bonding, and that won't be undone by a few months of change. (I hope!)
Anyway ... it's the unknown. It is what it is. We'll just have to see how it goes. In about ... ten more weeks.
Yikes.
1 comment:
Aaawwww :) The Boy is so cute!
I suspect going from one child to two is really hard, and in some ways really strange. There will probably be some bad days. But there will be really good days, too. And, you know, while you're sitting around endlessly nursing the baby, that's excellent reading-to-The-Boy time ;^). (I don't know if I've ever told you this story, but when Baby!Niece was wee, and nursing ALL THE TIME because she was a 28-wk preemie and took it as her mission in life to NURSE AS MUCH AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE, my sister used to read to Little!Niece, then about The Boy's age, whenever the baby was nursing. Within a couple of weeks, Little!Niece had taken to saying "Mommy, I think Baby!Niece is hungry!" at frequent intervals, in order to get another story. Of course, Little!Niece wasn't reading on her own at 4.5, so YMMV...)
I am thinking about this sort of thing a lot myself right now because ... the SSP is back on! Yes! We just found out! And OMG it's coming up very soon suddenly!! ::freaks out::
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