Even a decade later

Last night I had one of those extremely vivid pregnancy dreams. The ones that are so vivid I have to convince myself they aren't happening when I wake up. The ones that are so vivid that if I fall back to sleep too early, I go straight back into the dream.

Last night's I was writing an exam. And I got up and left 45 minutes in, and went ... I don't remember where. And I came back with only about 10 minutes to go without having finished and I was totally panicked because I wouldn't be able to finish (despite the fact that the back 3/4 of the exam booklet was the yellow pages. Go figure.). And my panic? Because I was going to get a B. Or maybe even (gasp!) a C+.

Oh, the horror.

I woke up afterwards and shook my head -- I mean, honestly, no matter how much attention I paid to my grades, no one even asked me about them afterwards.

And then I reconsidered. I mean, the fact that I got good grades in high school got me into university. The fact that I got good grades in university (and an honours degree) meant that I got into my Master's program. The Master's degree probably helped me get my first job out of grad school, which led to my job right now which is a pretty good one.

And I know of two people who futzed around through their undergrad years, never finishing their degree, who have had immense trouble finding good, permanent work afterwards. Even a decade later. Oh, sure, it doesn't happen to everyone. But it did to them.

So no, no one ever asked me what I got in English 200. But it was probably worth all that studying anyway.

But I still don't think I need the panic dream ten years later, thanks anyway subconscious.