Well.

So I got home last night and had a little cry about the situation (what can I say? I'm a tad hormonal.) And then realized that I kind of should have seen this coming -- the fact that I got tired easily (although I am, as ever, borderline anemic too), that I had to eat protein in the morning to feel ok during the day (and I'm talking eggs / bacon here, not just yogurt or shakes with protein powder, which have proved efficient for breakfast in the past), the fact that if I managed to get out for a walk I also felt better.

And don't get me wrong: I'm also in full appreciation of the fact that I really should have had this test last time. Ah, hubris. I'm so low-risk! ha ha! I won't even bother checking!

Well. As I've said before: the universe has a sense of humour.

Anyway this morning I'm trying to laugh along with it. The test itself was only borderline positive, which may translate into a false positive. Or it might mean that I'm just a borderline case, which is better than suddenly realizing I have diabetes for real. And there are worse things that a pregnancy which forces you to be healthy. I already eat pretty well; this will just mean cutting out the excessive chocolate gorging, but probably not removing it all together, and getting some exercise. And if I do this for three months maybe I'll develop some better habits in the future, and, crossed fingers, when the gestational diabetes goes away, I'll have some healthier habits to show for it.

I might also add that there are worse things to happen in a pregnancy that borderline gestational diabetes.

Anyway I'm off for the three hour definitive test next Thursday. I'm kind of dreading it, given the above -- I have found I feel nauseous if I don't eat well in the mornings and with this test I have to fast and then spend three hours taking the damn thing, and that won't be fun at all. (Funnily enough I can eat like crap most of the afternoon and feel just fine; it's only the mornings that are a problem.) Hopefully if I eat well between now and then my body will rally and I'll pass it.

But you know? Even if I do pass it, I think that a borderline result still merits taking into account, and being more careful with diet and exercise. And not eating pints of vanilla ice cream throughout the last trimester like last time.

Go baby! Make mommy healthy!!