On eating and food. Yet again.

But in which I cop to "bad" behaviours with relation to food.

So there's an article / interview on Babble today with Michael Pollan, he of the many books on food fame. He has some interesting things to say, including "Don't eat anything your grandmother couldn't identify as food" which made me laugh. Frankly, there's enough out there that *I* can't identify as food that I don't need to use my grandmother's metrics. Since I started having to read labels, I eat less and less processed food, even if it doesn't have gluten in it; half the time I get only half way through the list before being sickened by the incredible number of things I can't pronounce. Just ... ew. If I don't know what it is, how can I possibly eat it??

Anyway. One of his points made me wonder, though -- the one about eating around the table without distractions such as books or TV. We often eat at our coffee table. Oh, quite often it's without benefit of any screen, we all sit around the coffee table and eat. There are many reasons for this: our place is small, and the dining room table is often a repository of ... stuff. There's no room there. It's also more comfortable. Especially now when sitting upright in a chair makes my ribs dig into my stomach, which hurts. On the couch, I can more easily recline, and have less discomfort. And let's face it: we're lazy. I apologize.

But I figure the basics are there: we're eating together, as a family. Does it really matter how high the table is off the ground?

But my really bad sin is that some nights, particularly those I am home alone with my child, I let him eat in front of the screen. Some nights I even feed him. I admit it. And MIchael notes that you should never eat with distractions, because you don't focus on what you're eating. He points out that you can plop a kid down in front of a screen and he will eat an entire bowlfull of food, more than he might otherwise, including vegetables that he wouldn't normally.

And I can't quite get my head around this being a BAD thing. I mean, that's often why I do it. There are some nights I know my kid is tired, and over-wrought, and sitting down to veg out in front of the TV is the only thing that will really help him shut down for the night. I also know that a good helping of food will be great for his mood and emotional well-being, but the only way he'll eat anything is if he doesn't have to think about it. And so I do it: I switch on a show, I sit down with him, and he watches, and eats, and when it's all over, most of the time he is feeling better. A lot better. Because he's had time to zone out and he's full of something yummy.

Moreover, I enjoy the opportunity to shovel vegetables into him, because that way I know that at times, at least, he's getting some good nutrition. Without a show, I would get three bites of dinner and a whole lot of "But I don't LIKE that!!" and tears (despite the fact he's eaten it happily, of his own accord, many times); with the show, he'll happily eat a small bowlful, veggies included. I rarely feed him more than he might otherwise normally eat; only if he asks for more.

I suppose one might argue that I'm trading short term gain for long term pain: he's eating now, sure, but I'm setting him up for a LIFETIME of bad habits of eating with a screen. (Because of course what I'm doing now will create patterns of behaviour that CAN NEVER BE CHANGED. My child is an automaton and won't be able to make decisions for himself as an adult. For the rest of his life he'll be completely unable to eat unless there is a screen in front of him.) And maybe I am. My parents never ate in front of the TV, or at least never let us do it as kids. (Although, on occasion, we did get a concession to have early dinner on Sunday nights for the Disney special -- if you're of the same Canadian generation I am, you'll probably remember that.) I also do believe that sitting down to a meal with friends and family is one of the many pleasures of life, one which I hope my children will greatly enjoy -- and know how to behave at such -- as adults. And so we'll need to do more of this (at the dining room table, even) as he gets older.

So is this something I plan to keep up forever? Goodness no, no more than feeding him or dressing him or helping him on the toilet is. I hope in future he'll be in control enough of his emotions that he won't need the distraction to eat. But for now, he's three. I'm alone, tired, and pregnant, and this is one way I can manage to make the evening manageable for both of us, without time outs, yelling, impatience, and tears. And I kind of think that a meal in front of a movie with mom cuddled close beside him is a better option than the anger that might otherwise be created if I didn't allow him the luxury of emotional release every once in a while.

Just saying.